We talked about life, about the new year eve. that we won’t celebrate..During all the years i lived, i haven’t spent a joyful new year eve, and this year is even the worst..but as i am following her words, i am thinking positive and maybe that’s why i am here, sharing these..hard..and tough moments…

While listening to my fav music and writing these sentences, i am thinking in someone has made my life much harder to live when he broke up with me with no actual ,factual, or real reason i could understand..he’s the fairytale gone bad!

I lived a period of happiness, joy moments, good relationship, everything is gone now..you know this is just an ordinary story anyone can live this, re-live it with a second person..i am not telling a “new” love story for this humanity, i am totally “cliche” till now..

The other part of this story, is when something unusual or unexpected happens in your life..This is the part where he regrets everything bad he’ve done for me and that he hurted me one day in 2007..he regrets it all, he’s coming back, i don’t know if he wana loves again, if he’s lying too, is he messing around??..you want my point of view, you may think i hate him for what he did,but i don’t..i changed, it’s true maybe that i ddnt forgive him at all, but she told me to forgive the people who doesn’t deserve, i guess i am reconsider it now..

I listened and learned a lot of things after our broke up from many people, a person should go with no expectations in life for ex. ..positive thinking is a good way to deal with daily life.. the best i’ve learned and till now i am encountering and seeing from new perception day by day..

She, today, tonight, waked me from my long half-sleep..she showed me that love could be very different than making sex..we talked about how people are turning materialistic, how gay ppl are following their dicks!..i can’t stand anymore of this..we talked about my heart, my feelings..about him, his open “relation strategy”.

Now i am writing these letters sitting in front of my laptop on my messy desk… while he’s dancing with his “ex”, loudly, maybe shirtless, drunk, fully happy, dirty dancing, getting laid in a gay club in Beirut,he’s the fairytale gone bad..

The story continues with him, and his ex too (the other him), both in the same club dancing dirty..the other him, who follows his satisfaction (his testicles) trying to get his heart away from me, though his heart is between my hands, he can’t do anything..the question is do i keep my lover’s heart after what he’s doing? Do i tolerate his actions? his sex buddy aka his ex doesn’t feel guilty after what he did for him?

Don’t people learn from their mistakes? why some people are so weak, they can’t say no for what they don’t believe in and hate?

Do materialistic people really have heart!! at least not the other him, i am sure he’s not hurted, he’s thinking physical ..why sometimes a person lie in front of ppl’s back and he gets honest in front of the person he loves?..Is it worth it to sacrifice for someone hurted us in the past? or is it worth it to sacrifice for someone he lies that he’s being hurt?

My last chance to you, holding my breath, my voice, my word inside of me..believe me no fears from your follower..i will say it loud and clear when i can and i will in the right time..

You could still the fairytale gone bad..but i still have hope..I hope you prove yourself, show that you are the one for me..and you will own and win my heart and trust again..

With Love,

Happy New Year

You have to just do it !